NAWD Action Item # 10: Wake Up! You’re Still an Adjunct!

Good Adjuncts,

Yeah, I know it doesn’t sound as well the morning after, but now it’s time to drink that bitter cup of coffee, or in my case a 16 oz. can of Rockstar, and get on with it.

First, and I cannot stress this enough NAWD, NADA, or NAAD who whatever you want to call it cannot die.

This is what I’m going to do over the next few days.  I’m going to every site on the blogroll that has a comments page, and I’m telling that henceforth, every fourth Wednesday in February should be declared National Adjunct Day of Action, or well…whatever.

We need to institutionalize this date while it is fresh in mind.

Don’t simply make it the date of 2/25.  Why not?  Because NADA needs to be a day of campus-related action, and needs to take place on campuses, and at times when campus traffic is at its highest–right square in the middle of the week.

We do these actions to empower ourselves and to inform those most directly affect by our presence, exploitation, or again whatever you want to call it–our students.

How many are you going to reach on a Saturday or Sunday rally?  Yeah, you know…

And by the way, we need to do this now, before the various organizations at large get together and tussle with the date, and lose the whole point in their turbidity.

The next thing you need to do, well, I’m going to get into that tomorrow, but now I’ve got Humanities quizzes to grade, because after all, besides being a noise maker and general pain in the ass, I’m a teacher, and yes…

I’m still an Adjunct

Geoff

A Good Adjunct

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NAWD Action Item #3: Have Fun! Make Your Point With a Little Comedy

Good adjuncts:

It’s important we get out there and sell the message about how adjuntification is messed up and needs to change, but we’re not going to succeed by simply being strident.  When it come to the world at large, there’s a long line of hard luck stories, of which we are but one.  Parody and satire can go a long way to move the masses.  For now, I’m sharing my own attempt at this.  It’s a parody of Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” simply titled “adjunct”. For those unfamiliar with the song, here’s the original “Thrift Shop” video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes

I’m hoping somehow I can get this made into a Youtube video.  I don’t know if I will, but those of you out there more talented or creative who may have some creative ideas of your own–please share them, and I’ll post them.  Anyway…

Adjunct
(To the tune of Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop”)

Hey, professor, can you help me with my …?

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye (many times)

Gotta fly, gotta fly, gotta fly, yeh (x9)

I’ve got to drag my ass
To another college campus
I-I-I’m racing, to teach another section
Yes I‘m a fucking adjunct

Nah, walk up to the class like, “What up? I ‘m real prof
I’m like so downplaying that I’m an adjunct
I drag in the books and talk real cocky
That students forget that I’m just shit grade jockey.”
Bladder swollen, my eyes all bloodshot, too much coffee
Bags packed with stacks of essays, students waitin’ expectantly
Probably shoulda gone first, gotta return papers before I
(Pisssssssss)
But shit, it was 9:05! (I’m late)
Holdin’ it, strain’ it, bout to go and put em into peer groups
Passing up on the lesson plans I worked on the night before
Unclear and sketchy, fuck it man
I strutting and stalling and
Can bolt the classroom and I’m hella happy I got to go pee
I’ma gettin’ fastfood pay, I’ma gettin’ fastfood pay
No for real—ask at payroll—can I get a dollar meal (Thank you)
Back at teachin’ my cellphone’s ringin’
In my Trader Joe’s bag I go diggin’
I found a whiteboard marker, a dried out whiteboard marker
I whet it with my tongue, then tried on a chalkboard
Hello, hello, my ace man, my mello
Full-time ain’t got nothing on my fringe course, hell no
I could take student essays, correct them, sell those
The admin heads would be like “Aw, he like nailed the SLO’s.”

I’ve got to drag my ass
To another college campus
I-I-I’m racing, to teach another section
Yes I‘m a fucking adjunct

What you know about grading essays through the weekend?
What you knowin’ about living on only ramen?
I’m grading, I am grading, I’m searching all through the papers
One man’s trash, that’s my last class’s coursework
Thank the department for cancelling my course just last minute
‘Cause right now I’m sellin’ my plasma
I’m at the thrift store, you can find me trying dress clothes
It’s not, Halloween, I’m searchin’ in that section
For dress shirts, and dockers, and boxers, or blazers
I’ll take those red Hawaiian neckties, fifty cents, I’ll buy that motherfucker
The two-way belt with broken buckle on that motherfucker
I hit the office and they stop in that motherfucker.
They be like, “Oh, that adjunct—he hella poor.”
I’m like, “Yo—that’s ten dollars at the Target.”
Half off on Tuuesdays, let’s do adjunct addition
10 dollars for a dress belt—that’s almost two full days of food
The reality of your salary bro
And having the same situation as 70% of faculty
Peep game, come take a look through my telescope
Tryna get a full-time job and you hella won’t
Man you hella won’t

I’ve got to drag my ass
To another college campus
I-I-I’m racing, to teach another section
Yes I‘m a fucking adjunct

I wear those thrift store clothes
I feel expendable
I’m hauling this big ass bag
From that campus down the road
I wear those thrift store clothes
I feel expendable
I’m hauling this big ass bag
From that campus down the road

I’ve got to drag my ass
To another college campus
I-I-I’m racing, to teach another section
Yes I‘m a fucking adjunct

Is that your curriculum vitae?

Enough, now get busy good adjuncts!

Geoff Johnson

A good adjunct

NAWD Action Item #2: Claim Your Actual Hours–Make a Pie

Good Adjuncts,

Most students, even if they get what an adjunct is, don’t understand how you are paid in relation to the work that you do.  Make them see it.  Make a pie chart.

In most cases, adjuncts are simply paid for their hours in the classroom, with some adjuncts in more appreciative districts being offered small stipends for limited office hours.

To make your students really understand your job, show them by presenting them with a pie chart that shows what you do versus what you’re paid for.

There’s a very simple function for this in Microsoft Word.  It’s easy to create and post on facebook or blackboard, or to simply print out and give to the class. You can even draw it on the board for them.

Below is but an example.  By the way, my hours are actually a little more for the grading and professional development, but I’m playing it conservative, and here’s the real kicker–I only get paid 32 weeks a year (Fall and Spring Semester).

Work Pie Chart